Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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