You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize