either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
