I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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