Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
