i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I think I just sharted jello shots
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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