almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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