Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize