after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
