just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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