My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
