i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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