The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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