Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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