She said her name was "party"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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