Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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