she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
