so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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