Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
