the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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