just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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