yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
