How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
