So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
