Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
