I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize