I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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