All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
