so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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