Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
