you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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