Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
