false alarm. still invincible.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i think i just lost a toe
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
