I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
