MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
