I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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