If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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