listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
