Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.

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(518): View more from New York

his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"

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(205): View more from Alabama

I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.

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(432): View more from Texas

dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"

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(516): View more from New York

When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?

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