doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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