He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
