how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
