all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
