Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
