Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize