Quick, to the slutcave!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
