As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
