This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
