Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
That accounts for only three of the penises
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
