I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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