Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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