hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
