im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
