a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
A+ Viking dick
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
