You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You ate ashes out of my bong
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
