god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
