yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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