At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
