watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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