Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
