Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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