yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
