Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just google imaged poop.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
