but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
